Well, I was supposed to make this into a daily journal so I have a place to pour my heart out. I ended up keeping it all together again by force and I'm back to the crumbled state. Had a row with the BF today. He did it again, "no" to me but "yes" to someone else on the exact same request. He's right, I am jealous that he's more easygoing with his friends than me. However I really don't see why I'm not allowed to feel how I happen to feel. I'm pushing myself so hard to give him the personal time he wants but it seems like, my bare minimum needs for affection is overwhelming him. The only thing I can do now is just disappear until he remember how it's like to miss me, to want to spend time with me. I hate that he's here not because he wants to be here to spend time with me. He's always here just so it fulfils my needs of attention, and that's all. He may be doing it out of love ( I hope ) but I don't want to be a chore to h...
I don't know if this will even help Alright, so I'm told that writing out my thoughts will help when I'm feeling overwhelmed. I have no idea where to start, my mind is everywhere. I think its better for me to focus on my day-to-day, current issues than to bring up the past of how, what, where, when, why it all happened in the first place but I'm clear that I've been experiencing panic attacks, anxiety and some attention deficiency. So today will be the beginning of documenting the events of whatever I'm going through.